Monday, February 13, 2012

T Minus 11 Days

Thank you for the awesome song suggestions. I'm so excited about them!

A few others that I received via email were You Light Up My Life from my Daddy-O, Good Vibrations by the Beach Boys from my Mom, and I've got the joy joy, down in my heart and Be Careful, It's my Heart by Bing Crosby from Nancy. I need to get started on my play list.

Where am I today? Telling more people is making it all sink in and feel more real. Over the weekend some familiar anxiety started to make itself known. I'm optimistic 95% of the time, which for a traditionally glass half-empty kind of gal, 95% is pretty damn good. There are still some concerns that are normal, you know like the whole being cut open and broken in two part. Yeah, that is weighing on me pretty heavy right now. As I sit here and write this I feel completely fine and healthy and yet I know in 11 short days I'm walking into something that is going to significantly slow me down for a period of time. I'm thankful that I know that this is temporary and I'm hopeful that by the time spring rolls around I'll feel like I do today.

Has anyone heard about those crazy freak stories about people who are under anesthesia and feel everything but can't speak? Yeah, this is a current crazy anxiety filled thought that I have.

I'm also having a hard time coming to terms with knowing that I likely won't see much of CT while I'm at the hospital and once I return home I won't be able to care for him in the way I do today. Again, I know this will be temporary, but imagining what that time will be like is heartbreaking (no pun intended). If anyone has any suggestions for how I can maintain a close connection with him during recovery, I will gladly accept them. I'm not above bribing him with new tractors and candy in exchange for affection either.

Ok, now for some logistics.

My sister, Becky, will be posting updates here and on Facebook while I'm in the hospital. I hope to be able to post updates myself once I return home. If we aren't friends on FB, check here first. If you aren't friends with Becky on FB, she'll be tagging me on her updates so you can go straight to my wall.

I've added two new tools on the right navigation bar > over you see them? The first you can add your email address and get email alerts when new posts are added. This is a feature I've never used before so I hope it works.

I've also added a link to my Care Calendar where those who want to help can sign up. Becky will be adding needs once I get direction from the hospital. (i.e. rides to and from appointments, meals.) It's awkward for me to ask and I wish our level of needs were limited to simply prayers and well wishes, but the more I'm learning about this process and recovery period the more I'm beginning to realize how we will need to rely on support outside our family.


  1. CT will be spoiled rotten by his auntie, uncle and cousins while you are gone, so don't worry!

  2. Wow. Thanks for the link to this blog. I had no idea you were having surgery. Many prayers coming your way! As for your to do list, it does sound absurd, but I would probably do the same thing (or at least think about it!). When you've faced a significant loss, it's kind of hard to not let your mind go there.

  3. I think you are sooo wise to ask for help! As hard as it may seem right now. When my son was born and we knew he would need open heart surgery immediately after birth people said they would help with meals etc but then very few people actually did. You do need more than prayers and well wishes and I hope this forum will help with that! I think meals, playtime fun for your son and a break for your hubby too will be so helpful. I know it is hard to ask for help but you need lots of support. Is there a way to know when you need a meal and that someone is bringing it? You take care and sending lots of love and we'll be in touch!!